Sad news.

The following is the introduction to a new blog I am creating to share lesson ideas: called Movement. Breath. Kindness. The beginning is an exercise to slow down and tune in; noticing and naming with compassionate awareness. Compassionate awareness is to notice without judgement, comparison, or criticism. I wanted to share this introduction blog in a more general way.

Please pause. No need to scroll down to find the sad story. It doesn't exist. As you choose to pause, what do you notice? Close your eyes. What do you notice? Name what you notice. If you notice what you typically refer to as 'distracted', can you name what distracted feels like in your body? 'Brain is busy', 'Heart is fast', 'Mind - relentless'. Name what you notice in your skin. Is it 'buzzing'? Is it thumping? Does it feel 'alive'? Or is it just enough. Name what you notice in your muscles. Do you notice your thighs, hips and bottom? Your shoulders? Upper back? Is your face tense? Are your eyebrows scrunching toward one another? Do your muscles feel tight or loose? heavy or light? busy or calm? Notice your gut, your belly. Is it comfortable or uncomfortable? Does the area feel open and growing, or tight and constricted? Does it feel empty, full, or both? Notice your heart. Fast or slow? Calm or busy? Just enough? Notice your mind. Fast or slow? Cruel or kind? Calm or busy? Just enough?

As a school social worker for the last eight years, and a teacher for eight years prior to that, I have come to have a very strong, visceral reaction to email titled 'sad news'. My reaction is linked to the assumption that 'Sad news' is code for 'student death by suicide'. Although, the message never states the cause of death. Suicide must somehow be connected to the concept of 'failure' - assumed failure on behalf of the living: the embedded systems or individuals of those systems. As a system, 'school' is in opposition to failure. The goal is to not fail.

It may seem that we feel such pressure to not have a child die by suicide that we will do more and more risk assessment and more and more hospitalization, and more and more CYA (cover your ass) that we get further and further away from really being present and meeting this idea of what it must feel like to desire to die. It's a feeling, maybe it doesn't have to be a curse. Instead of suicide completion, or homicide - the desire to kill another (which moves beyond the subtlety of 'Sad news' to national news), being this monster in the closet that gets bigger and bigger as we keep the door shut - perhaps we can open the closet door and slowly, intentionally release the power of this dark energy.

Over the last three years I have been 'playing' with various lessons and curriculum ideas that highlight this inner world which is rich with resources. Awareness of our own nature allows us to connect to nature and its natural intelligence - full of beauty, creativity, and possibility...Just. Like. Us.

As I prepare for a new school year, I found these 'quotes' I had scratched down on a piece of paper. If you are familiar with schools, the 'I Am' poem tends to be a popular activity for kids. Several years ago now, my niece created her I Am poem. I laughed as it repeated, 'I Am awesome and good with duck tape'. As I read her poem, it reminded me of the way I feel about all students: all that matters is the I Am. That you exist. Your inherent worth and dignity comes complete in your human existence. When I read her poem I claimed, 'This is going to be the title of my book some day: I Am Awesome and Good with Duck Tape'. Well, I shortened it as a blog: I Am. (awesome). The I Am has become my descriptive title for the inner space. The space where creativity, possibility, and inspiration live. When I teach I Am. I bring awareness to the period (.) and the space that comes after the period (. ). We can reclaim our personal power when we can stop after the I Am. and then enter the space where we remember we are creativity, we are possibility, we are inspiration. We are...enough.

In every human being there lies a higher level of consciousness that is deeper than the movement of thought.

I Am. The observer.

When it is experienced there is a deep feeling of inner peace.

I Am. Enough.

We are at risk of living our lives as if our identity lies in the movement of thought.

I Am.

We tap into the deeper level of consciousness only in the present moment.

When I sit with someone whose desire is to die, the only thing I know to do is to sit with them. To be present with them. To validate that this is how they feel. When I do this, eventually there is some space.

Meditation 101 - Check IN

In lieu of spending the next several hours ethically conflicted, while totally immersed, in GREY; I opted to make a video of the Check IN that I have put together over the last few years.

The Check IN was created in pieces while working at an elementary school for the first time several years ago (specifically teaching mindfulness to two fourth grade classes); and simultaneously facilitating the basic concepts of mindfulness to high school students in several different settings.

If you are a teacher or a mental health provider, or basically if you are anyone, you can download and read about the Check IN here. Please share it with anyone. I like to think it is a very basic introduction to meditation, or 'stillness'.
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Checking-In-846370

You can contact me here...
sseif39@gmail.com

You can like my fan page here...
https://www.facebook.com/IAm.SallySeiffer

And, lastly....you can watch it here!

Why do I care?

My tagline declares a desire to teach Kindness in lieu of bully prevention, Compassion in lieu of violence prevention, and Belonging in lieu of suicide prevention. Let's do it!

For fun...I am also going to add the graduation video I created in June...it is based on the 'I Am.'

Emotional Literacy 101

‘I would have to say that emotional literacy is more important than the more familiar kind of cognitive literacy. No one ever went to prison because of bad grammar, but the prisons are full of people who are there because of emotional literacy.’
- Gay Hendricks, Conscious Living

Is it a teacher’s job to teach Emotional Literacy? Or is it everyone’s job to be emotionally literate? Wait…
So, what does emotional literacy even mean? If to be considered ‘illiterate’ is to have ‘little or no education’, how many of us have little or no education when it comes to our emotional life?

One of my favorite ways I have learned to teach emotion is to break the word into e-motion: energy in motion. When we feel e-motion, it wants to be felt and move through, or experienced and released (like other bodily functions that come up to be experienced and released - ie. laughter or even a burp!). With emotions we tend to carry them (we attach a story to them or reinforce the stories we already tell...have you ever heard of a ‘negative feedback loop?’); or we deny them and hold the energy in our bodies….and when that energy becomes something we are forced to pay attention to we then focus on the identified issue: headaches, depression, anger, acting out, etc. . Incidentally, yoga is such a great way to release this energy in the body through movement, breath, and kindness. Yoga in schools is a no brainer as far as I am concerned.

Naming an emotion is great. And being able to communicate that emotion is nice. What about recognizing the feeling and experience of the e-motion in your body? If existence is a constant exchange of energy and information, and we take in this energy and information through our sense perceptions...then wouldn’t our first indicator of awareness be felt in sensation? ‘Sensations are also the gateway to your feelings. Indeed, feelings are simply sensations that occur reliably enough to have names attached to them.’ When it comes to our social and emotional well being it seems as if we give our ‘thoughts’ way too much credit. “You sit over there and just think about what you have done!” Or when we are trying to face our own issues we often say we just need some time to ‘think about it’. Stop this nonsense (ooh...non-sense?) - we think too much!

Where does _________ live in your body? What sensations do you notice when you experience__________? My sadness lives behind my ears, behind my eyes, and in my throat. It also steals my energy and makes my thinking negative (shocker - my thoughts mirror my mood?). I am still trying to figure out what exactly I do with all this information….but it’s a hell of a lot better than getting stuck in the ‘story of sad’ and be treated for depression as a disorder that I have little or no control over. I think there is a difference in being treated for depression in a way that you are being empowered to take back control by learning to name and notice where this depression lives in you, and using various mind-body techniques that soothe and stimulate a whole body presence when ‘feeling’ what seems to be pervasive sadness.

Some feelings are not so localized and do seem pervasive and overwhelming. ‘I wonder if the feeling of excitement may affect the primitive capillary bed, a system of potential sensation throughout the body that if laid out in a line would run sixty thousand miles long. The capillary bed spreads over almost the entire body and may account for the all-over aspect of excitement.’ So would that ‘primitive’ capillary bed explain all over sadness? or other all over experiences of emotion? And when I read ‘primitive’ I think of the stress response and the limbic system - or in other words, experiencing life by reacting to the nervous system rather than being consciously connected to mind, body, and breath (where we connect to spirit, soul, source, etc.).

Recently, I have had the delightful opportunity to work at a new elementary school where the principal may not totally understand me - but he trusts me. (This is not to say that I haven’t had wonderful relationships with all my principals...just different circumstances). I am able to go into all Kindergarten and First grade classrooms and practice Movement, Breath, and Kindness. It is a work in progress because my grade level experience has drastically changed over the last two years and the learning curve is still high, but it is FUN.

We talk about what it feels like to be stuck or flowing on the inside (likened to a garden hose with the water flowing or stuck). We ‘pay attention’ to skin, muscles, belly, heart, and mind to keep it simple. We compare two sensations (or the felt experience on the inside): is it hot or cold?, heavy or light?, calm or busy?, open or closed?, comfortable or uncomfortable?, etc. We use movement (this can include laughter, play, music, singing) to get unstuck and then focus on our breath to settle again. As we notice where feelings live in our body we are kind to ourselves. Compassionate awareness is to notice our inner experience without there having to be a right or wrong (judgment), comparison, or criticism. Kindness can be built upon by first practicing being kind to ‘me’(self), then to ‘you’ (others), and then bringing awareness to ‘we’ (nature and the interconnectedness of all life).

As adults we can practice our own emotional literacy by bringing our awareness to our inner experience in a non judgemental way. This experience reconnects us to our truth and we can rediscover our nature in a way that stirs passion and movement (creativity). When I am stirred by passion and creativity I feel a 'sense' of being unlimited; when I am stuck in my physiology or nervous system and just reacting, I feel quite limited.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek.”

“Fear is trusting in your own power.”

-Joseph Campbell

Love is a Feeling

I began working with elementary age students less than two years ago. I recall sitting at the 'back to school' meeting for teachers and feeling really out of place - as if I had made a selfish decision (for personal reasons) and the kids would suffer from my lack of experience.

The learning curve is still fairly high, however the love fest with the kids is intoxicating. I learn more from the children, the teachers, and the school communities than they do from me - but my own conceptual vision for meaningful change through social and emotional 'embodiment' continues to grow.

The idea of 'embodiment' is to experience transformation on the inside. For example, students can tell you about kindness which would be considered an intellectual exchange (or transaction). To embody kindness is to 'feel' kindness (a transformational experience). When we are busy, we subject ourselves to a misguided notion that meaning and validation come from our external experience; as opposed to meaning and validation being a felt experience found deep within us.

So how do you teach this? Well...you experience it. For simplicity sake, let's talk about the 'feeling' experience of love. Imagine love as a state of being. The opposing state of being, in this case, would be fear. Love guides the body's relaxation response (I'm safe). Fear guides the body's stress response (I'm not safe). If you are familiar with Carol Dweck's book 'Mindset', love would be the growth mindset and fear would be the fixed mindset. Love sets us up for reflection and fear sets us up for reaction.

To facilitate a learning experience for students, let's build off the previous blog: Move. Breathe. Love. http://msseiffer.blogspot.com/2015/01/move-breathe-love.html

Now with the students...

What does love feel like in your body? (what does it feel like in your skin? what does it feel like in your muscles? belly? heart? mind?). Incidentally - there is no wrong answer.

Does anyone know what the body is made up of? (cells)
Imagine this Hoberman Sphere is a cell.
When you feel 'love', does it feel like your cells are growing and expanding? or does it feel like your cells are shrinking and getting smaller?
Do your cells feel light and spacious? Or do your cells feel heavy and tight?
Do your cells feel like they are stuck and energy is having a hard time flowing in and between your cells? Or does it feel like there is a lot of space within and around the cells and energy is flowing? Do your cells feel like they are working in harmony?

When we feel good (ask for examples of good feelings) our cells seem to:

• grow and expand
• feel light and spacious
• flow in harmony

Let's move by pretending:

• You are a cell! What do you look like when you are growing!? Expanding?! (then do the opposite - shrinking...)
• You are a cell! What does it look like to feel light and spacious?! (opposite - heavy...)
• You are a cell! What does it look like to flow?! (opposite - stuck...)

If you work in schools and with children, have you noticed that ADHD 'symptoms' almost seem to be a blanket fit for any behavior that is challenging? These challenging 'behaviors' would most likely be associated with the definition of fear based reacting discussed in a previous paragraph.

We can work on embodiment and personal power by learning to be an observer of the inner experience as opposed to identifying with the inner experience (this difference can be demonstrated by noticing the difference between these two statements: 'I am bad.' compared to 'I feel bad.').

Consider 'feeling' the challenging behaviors by facilitating the inner experience of what 'busy' feels like (consider this 'busy' to be challenging behaviors such as 'easily distracted' and 'impulsive'). The 'busy' feeling would be likened to the 'feeling' state of fear discussed and practiced above.

Likewise, let's use the 'feeling' of love (expanding, light, and flowing) to demonstrate the feeling behind any helpful feeling - like 'calm'. And the 'feeling' of fear (shrinking, heavy, and stuck) to any unhelpful feelings - like 'busy'.

Hopefully this isn't an oversimplification, but here's a potential example of application:
If a child makes the connection that their heart beat is slow and steady when they feel calm, they could potentially use this bodily awareness to tap into their relaxation response by intentionally focusing on slowing their heart rate to create the desired feeling of calm. (Hint: Motivation and desire to feel calm is another skill that may be great to discuss in a 1:1 setting with children who display a greater need for this intervention; whereas the bigger ideas can be practiced in a whole class setting).

The expansive, light, flowing inner experience allows for creativity and problem solving (among many other things). Additional blogs will discuss this inner 'I Am.' space to be where creativity, inspiration, and possibility live. As well as, a seven step 'Check In' to tap into the I Am. space. I also continue to work with teenagers and the skills can be adapted to all levels. Self care is crucial when facilitating this inner experience. We all respond to our environment. Which is another way to say that our 'moods' are a reflection of the way we feel. When we slow ourselves down to recognize the power we possess over our feeling state, we can live from and within the state of love: the I Am. space where creativity, possibility, and inspiration are always available.

Move. Breathe. Love.

I have this personal habit. I tend to feel overwhelmed and my mind goes blank when I consider creating activities for the upcoming school week. What helps me begin is to go back to a simple formula and then build from there. I would like to share one of those formulas with you: Move. Breathe. Love.

I'll share a little background that may also be helpful:

A broad tactic I use to 'keep things simple' is to focus on three main skills: self awareness, emotional regulation, and social awareness. I create all my lessons and intervention around these three skills. Building from and within those three skills, I return to one more guiding insight: I desire to teach Kindness, Compassion, and Belonging to dissolve bullies, violence, and suicide. Notice what happens in your body when you consider teaching Kindness as Bully Prevention, Compassion as Violence Prevention, and Belonging as Suicide Prevention. Teaching Kindness, Compassion, and Belonging is more inspiring, meaningful, and (most importantly for our own well being) sustainable.

Move.
I have done a number of different things for movement. From dance moves (to fun music) that intentionally cross the body's midline, to Brain Gym http://www.braingym.org/ exercises (again crossing the midline - much more practical for test taking or independent exercises that don't draw attention). For simplicity sake, are you familiar with GoNoodle https://www.gonoodle.com/? My favorite duo is Koo Koo Kanga Roo. KKKR make me laugh out loud which relaxes me and helps me be my best self with the students. Are you a yogi? Bring it to the classroom! I am a wannabe yogi - and I find such great moves and ideas on YouTube. I also use resources like Yoga Calm http://www.yogacalm.org/and Little Flower Yoga http://littlefloweryoga.com/.

Breathe.
I desire to facilitate an 'inner' experience for and with the students. We pay a lot of attention to what is going on inside the body. We talk about BIG feelings and how these BIG feelings want to stick around and they tend to get 'stuck' inside. We can teach movement as a way to get the energy of the BIG feeling unstuck. Once that energy is unstuck, we can use our breath to channel the energy back to where it belongs. Have you ever used a Hoberman sphere? The students love this little toy. It serves as a great visual for belly breathing. We can create our own Hoberman sphere by putting our finger tips together and expanding the hands as we breath in and out. I'll show you this on the video. Mindfulness has become quite popular, and for good reason! Your school district may offer a Mindfulness course if it is something you would be interested in learning more about - and mindfulness strategies could be incorporated into this 'Breathe' segment.

Love.
So now we have moved and hopefully the energy is flowing a bit more. We used intention with our breath to bring the energy in our body back into balance. Now we are going to take our hands that are still touching from the breathing activity, and lower the thumbs as we turn in our fingernails toward one another to make a heart. We put this heart over our heart space to help us channel our breath in a way that we are breathing directly into this space. You may be interested in HeartMath http://www.heartmath.com/ which specializes in the intelligence of the heart. I have learned that the energy of the heart space radiates 12 feet in each direction - and within three feet our heart beat can be measured with 100% accuracy. I understand the energy around the heart is up to 1000x more than the brain.
As we intentionally bring our breath into our heart space, we can share with the students that 'any feeling in your body that is not helping you now can be breathed into this space...imagine that the heart expands as you breathe in the feelings that aren't serving you...and trust that the heart can handle it.'
Building off of this, now suggest that the students think or imagine something that is really easy to love. Ask them to allow this feeling of love to fill their body: their skin, muscles, belly, heart, and mind. If they were able to create a good feeling, guide them now to share that feeling. You can do this simply by guiding their breath: 'As you breathe in allow your body to be filled with the feeling of love, and as you breath out give that feeling to the world.'  You can play with this and share that love with a special person, or a person in the classroom that you choose, or if you are in a small group and it feels safe, you can go through each person in the group and send love to each person individually.