‘I would have to say that emotional literacy is more important than the more familiar kind of cognitive literacy. No one ever went to prison because of bad grammar, but the prisons are full of people who are there because of emotional literacy.’
- Gay Hendricks, Conscious Living
Is it a teacher’s job to teach Emotional Literacy? Or is it everyone’s job to be emotionally literate? Wait…
So, what does emotional literacy even mean? If to be considered ‘illiterate’ is to have ‘little or no education’, how many of us have little or no education when it comes to our emotional life?
One of my favorite ways I have learned to teach emotion is to break the word into e-motion: energy in motion. When we feel e-motion, it wants to be felt and move through, or experienced and released (like other bodily functions that come up to be experienced and released - ie. laughter or even a burp!). With emotions we tend to carry them (we attach a story to them or reinforce the stories we already tell...have you ever heard of a ‘negative feedback loop?’); or we deny them and hold the energy in our bodies….and when that energy becomes something we are forced to pay attention to we then focus on the identified issue: headaches, depression, anger, acting out, etc. . Incidentally, yoga is such a great way to release this energy in the body through movement, breath, and kindness. Yoga in schools is a no brainer as far as I am concerned.
Naming an emotion is great. And being able to communicate that emotion is nice. What about recognizing the feeling and experience of the e-motion in your body? If existence is a constant exchange of energy and information, and we take in this energy and information through our sense perceptions...then wouldn’t our first indicator of awareness be felt in sensation? ‘Sensations are also the gateway to your feelings. Indeed, feelings are simply sensations that occur reliably enough to have names attached to them.’ When it comes to our social and emotional well being it seems as if we give our ‘thoughts’ way too much credit. “You sit over there and just think about what you have done!” Or when we are trying to face our own issues we often say we just need some time to ‘think about it’. Stop this nonsense (ooh...non-sense?) - we think too much!
Where does _________ live in your body? What sensations do you notice when you experience__________? My sadness lives behind my ears, behind my eyes, and in my throat. It also steals my energy and makes my thinking negative (shocker - my thoughts mirror my mood?). I am still trying to figure out what exactly I do with all this information….but it’s a hell of a lot better than getting stuck in the ‘story of sad’ and be treated for depression as a disorder that I have little or no control over. I think there is a difference in being treated for depression in a way that you are being empowered to take back control by learning to name and notice where this depression lives in you, and using various mind-body techniques that soothe and stimulate a whole body presence when ‘feeling’ what seems to be pervasive sadness.
Some feelings are not so localized and do seem pervasive and overwhelming. ‘I wonder if the feeling of excitement may affect the primitive capillary bed, a system of potential sensation throughout the body that if laid out in a line would run sixty thousand miles long. The capillary bed spreads over almost the entire body and may account for the all-over aspect of excitement.’ So would that ‘primitive’ capillary bed explain all over sadness? or other all over experiences of emotion? And when I read ‘primitive’ I think of the stress response and the limbic system - or in other words, experiencing life by reacting to the nervous system rather than being consciously connected to mind, body, and breath (where we connect to spirit, soul, source, etc.).
Recently, I have had the delightful opportunity to work at a new elementary school where the principal may not totally understand me - but he trusts me. (This is not to say that I haven’t had wonderful relationships with all my principals...just different circumstances). I am able to go into all Kindergarten and First grade classrooms and practice Movement, Breath, and Kindness. It is a work in progress because my grade level experience has drastically changed over the last two years and the learning curve is still high, but it is FUN.
We talk about what it feels like to be stuck or flowing on the inside (likened to a garden hose with the water flowing or stuck). We ‘pay attention’ to skin, muscles, belly, heart, and mind to keep it simple. We compare two sensations (or the felt experience on the inside): is it hot or cold?, heavy or light?, calm or busy?, open or closed?, comfortable or uncomfortable?, etc. We use movement (this can include laughter, play, music, singing) to get unstuck and then focus on our breath to settle again. As we notice where feelings live in our body we are kind to ourselves. Compassionate awareness is to notice our inner experience without there having to be a right or wrong (judgment), comparison, or criticism. Kindness can be built upon by first practicing being kind to ‘me’(self), then to ‘you’ (others), and then bringing awareness to ‘we’ (nature and the interconnectedness of all life).
As adults we can practice our own emotional literacy by bringing our awareness to our inner experience in a non judgemental way. This experience reconnects us to our truth and we can rediscover our nature in a way that stirs passion and movement (creativity). When I am stirred by passion and creativity I feel a 'sense' of being unlimited; when I am stuck in my physiology or nervous system and just reacting, I feel quite limited.
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek.”
“Fear is trusting in your own power.”
-Joseph Campbell
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